Who She Was
by DarkenedMoonAngel
Summary: After the death of a celebrated woman, her daughter tries to find out who she was and why she didnt live long enough to be with her.


This is my first bleach fic! I was watching it the other day and was just inspired and couldnt get this outta my head. Hopefully this is the beginning of a great thing!

I do not own bleach or its chracters

* * *

"Don't tell her stories Yumichika!" yelled Ikkaku.

"They aren't stories!"

"Well then don't tell her about him, he's already done enough damage without even being in her life" said Ikkaku.

"I won't lie to her Ikkaku, if she wants to know about her parents I will not lie, I made a promise to her mother and I am going to honor that promise," Yumichika said.

Jade could hear her uncles yelling, they were angry and she knew it was because of her. She had Uncle Yumi about her father again, she had wanted to know stories about him and her mother, and even though she knew Uncle Ikkaku always got angry she wanted to know about the man who she was half made of.

She leaned back and turned to the side, she watched the fireflies dance around her bedroom window. She was mesmerized by them and by the sounds of her Uncles voices, she could tell that they were done arguing, their voices were softer and though Ikkaku's voice was still harsh she knew he was no longer angry. Jade snuggled under her covers and closed her eyes. There was a crash of thunder from outside her window and she opened her eyes in time to see a flash of lightning. Rain and storms were rare in the Soul Society, but they did happen and mostly in the summer time, Jade smiled, she liked storms somehow they always made her smile even when others would cower in fear.

* * *

"Yumi will you tell me about my mother?" Jade asked.

Yumichika looked up at her from the paperwork that he was reading, though it was his day off he knew that if he didn't get it done the Vice Capitan would never file it. She was a teenager now and though she had been carefree as a child now it was even worse, most of the time she was too busy to file paper work because she was sneaking off with that small toe headed teenager still pretending that no one knew they were together. Well they weren't quite pretending, the Capitan still didn't know, if he had found out Yumichika was sure that the Tenth division would be looking for a new Capitan.

Yumichika heard Ikkaku scoff, he was sitting at the base of a tree in the yard, sipping Sake "Your mother was a crazy bimbo who couldn't hold her Sake!"

Yumichika glared at him and then turned to Jade, "Your mother was one of the most dedicated and strongest people that I have ever met. She's the reason many people are alive today." From his tree Ikkaku made a noise, Yumichika looked over at him and glared but found that he was staring off into the distance.

"She was a very beautiful woman Jade, always had a smile, and the bluest eyes anyone could ever have," Yumichika said.

"I wish I had her eyes, I wish I looked like her at all" Jade said, she looked down at her hands, she knew who she looked like and it was not her mother. She wanted to cry, she was a ghost of someone who everyone hated, she was the walking clone of a man that had killed many people.

A hand reached out and ruffled her hair, she looked up to see Ikkaku standing there his hand on her head, the other holding his zanpakuto across his shoulder, he wasn't looking at her more over her. His eyes were full of sadness, "You do kiddo, don't worry you do." He removed his head and then trudged back inside to find more Sake.

Yumichika watched Ikkaku's retreat and then looked at Jade. She was staring at her Uncle's back with tears in her eyes. Yumichika went back to his paper work and that was the end of her questions for that day.

* * *

"Yachiru do you remember my mother?"

The Vice Capitan froze, mouth open about to bite into a very large cookie. "Ehhhhh your mother? Well yeah I suppose…" Yachiru said looking at Jade.

"Will you tell me what you remember?"

Yachiru bit into the cookie and chewed trying to think of something to say, she swallowed and then sighed with a hmmmm noise. "Well your mother was…….fun!" Yachiru smiled at the young girl. "She always could make me laugh! And she always had cookies to give me even when Kenny said I shouldn't have them….oh and she always gave me drinks!" Yachiru turned around and began sorting through a drawer in her desk.

"Anything else?" Jade asked leaning forward trying to pry more information out of her.

Yachiru stopped again and this time she waited a few seconds before she answered. When she did her voice was different, more serious, "When I was little…she would always come by and do my hair. My hands couldn't always reach enough and Yumi sucked at braiding then, so she would always come and do it for me." Yachiru turned around and leaned back in her chair, "She would always decorate me too…she said I was like her doll. She loved putting make up on me, dressing me in clothes from the human world, putting my hair into weird designs with little ornaments she brought back with her."

Yachiru sighed and then let out a little giggle, "She was like an older sister to me…" She paused and looked out of the window, "Your mother was wonderful, she was always the life of the party…and she was a good friend." Yachiru turned back to Jade, who had tears in her eyes.

"I wish I could have known her," Jade said. She hid her eyes behind her silver hair bangs and let the tears run down her face.

Yachiru's hand was soft, she pushed back Jades hair and smiled kindly at her. "You do know her, you know her by what she left behind." Jade blinked once at the smiling Vice Capitan, it was one of the few times she had seen Yachiru with a serious face.

"Now let's go bother Shiro-chan!" Yachiru said with a giggle. She pulled Jade to her feet and tickled her sides, "Come on lets race!" Jade smiled, she loved to race with Yachiru it was always an experience. "I'll give you a head start!"

Jade blinked Yachiru was not one for head starts, she hated losing, Jade opened her mouth to ask why when Yachiru soon began counting. Realizing that she was looking a gifted horse in the mouth Jade took off towards the Tenth division Yachiru's counting following her in the distance.

Two seconds after Jade was gone Yachiru stopped counting and turned around. Her eyes set on the window behind her desk, a picture stood next to several others, Yachiru went over to it and picked it up. She stared down at the people in the picture a drunk Ikkaku from years previous, a ever beautiful Yumichika, a angry and confused Shuuhei, an irresolute Kira, a blank Nemu, Nanao yelling at all of them, and Jade's mother winking a huge smile on her face as she hugged a younger Yachiru to her.

Yachiru let out a small curt laugh and then set the picture back down. She inhaled and the yelled for all the Seireitei to hear "Time is up!"

* * *

Jade laughed as Yachiru passed her in less than a second, she knew she wasn't going to beat the fastest Vice Capitan in the Soul Society but it was nice to dream, and to try.

"Jade I really must get this paperwork done, the Capitan refuses to finish it!" said Nanao.

"But Aunt Nanao I just wanted to ask a few questions!"

"Why this sudden fascination, we've always told you about your mother why so much now?" asked Nanao, not looking up from the paperwork she was working on.

"Well….I've been having dreams lately…about her…" Jade said quietly.

Nanao's pen stopped scratching the paper, Jade looked up and saw that Nanao, who was still staring down at the paper in front of her, had stopped writing. "Jade I am not the person to tell you about your mother."

"You and she were friends weren't you! Why won't you tell me? No one will tell my anything! They all say she was wonderful, and fun, and beautiful, and an amazing person but no one will tell me what happened!"

Nanao's hand was shaking, she didn't want to yell but she was afraid that her emotional control was slipping. Recalling memories of the girl's mother was painful, extremely painful for Nanao, but she knew that Jade did deserve to know the truth of what had happened.

"Please Aunt Nanao I want to know!" Jade said.

Nanao looked up at the young girl she loved dearly, she looked just like her mother, not in the obvious ways but in the way her chin was, her long nose, deep set eyes, and the one freckle she had, though it wasn't in the same place as her mother's had been it was obvious she had inherited it from her.

Nanao put down her pen and stood, her back was to Jade, she inhaled deeply and then spoke. "Go ask Nemu Kurotsuchi," said Nanao "she can give you what you want."

"Aunt Nanao?" Jade got to her feet and was about to approach the woman.

"Go Jade Nemu will give you the answers that you need." Jade nodded and the disappeared. Nanao turned around and stared out of the door that Jade had gone through. She collapsed into her chair and put her head in her hands tears running down her face.

A large warm hand touched her head, she looked up and stared at her Capitan, "It was a great loss for all of us," he said softy.

"I wish I could tell her what she wanted to know, but I can't talking about her would only break my heart even more, it's still too soon," said Nanao.

"Time for us passes swiftly, unlike humans, ten years isn't long enough for the heart to heal," Shunsui said. "My dear Nanao-kun when is it you will have finished this paperwork I want to retire and have a warm bath."

She suddenly felt her temper shorten, "If you want a hot meal you should finish your paper work so that your subordinates can cook for you!"

"But Nan-chan I hate paperwork and besides you have such lovely handwriting" he said with a smile.

Nanao smacked him with her fan, "Go home I will be there shortly to join you for dinner." He kissed the top of her head and she swatted at him and went back to her paperwork in his absence. It only took her a few minutes to finally give up and throw down her pen. From the bottom of her desk she took a bottle of Sake and poured to glasses. She held up one glass to the picture on her desk and then downed it, "Miss you old friend it's not the same drinking alone."

* * *

"Your mother?" asked Nemu her monotone voice slightly inclining at the statement.

"Yes can I see the official report of her death?" asked Jade.

Nemu spun around in her chair and began typing on the large computer in front of her. "The official report is classified for only those who have Fifth Seat clearance and above, since you are not a member of the 13 Court Guards at all you have no such clearance," Nemu told her.

Jade sighed, she knew Nemu was a rule person, she followed the stipulations set in order by her father and she only considered logic when dealing with situations. There was no reason to argue with her, she had hit another dead end. She turned to leave.

"It seems that I have accessed the wrong file," Nemu said from her place. Jade turned around and saw a picture of her mother displayed on the screen. "This is most troublesome I must get a refreshment, and speak with Mayuri-sama about the problem with security we have been having, before I attempt to try and return to my work." Nemu stood and left the room locking the room from the inside as she left.

Jade smiled, she knew that discussing the "security" issues with Mayuri would take a long time, no matter what they seemed to do Yachiru seemed to always get in unnoticed. Jade moved over to the computer desk and sat down. She stared at the large picture of her mother, it had been taken right after she had ascended to the position of Vice Capitan for division ten.

Jade began reading: Matsumoto, Rangiku. Born September 29th, date unconfirmed. Entered the Shino Academy at a young age and excelled to the level of Vice Capitan quickly. Responsible for the recruitment of Capitan Toshiro Hitsugaya. Served as Vice Capitan through the Azien incident and attempted rebellion. Disappeared for several months after the incident, gave birth to one child after her returned. After interrogation about absence ((see additional notes for interrogation)) she was reinstated to former position. Daughter kidnapped two years after birth, Vice Capitan along with three others went AWOL and rescued the child. Vice Capitan sustained injuries which led to her death. Only child left in the guardian ship of 3rd Seat Madarame and 5th Seat Ayasegawa. Later testing revealed the child's father to be former Capitan Gin Ichimaru.

Jade sat back, she knew all of this information but there was more about it that Jade wanted to know. She knew all of the details of her mother's life, but she wanted to know about her mother. Her eyes scanned the screen again and she now noticed a small button off to the side that said 'Personal'.

Clicking it several boxes came up, it was an inventory of all the things found in her mothers barracks after her death. She looked through it and two words caught her eye 'Personal Journal'. Jade pushed the chair back and turned around about to run from the room to find Nemu.

But as she turned around she saw Nemu already standing there holding an old worn book. "I perceived that the information here would not be satisfactory and assumed that you would be wanting this." Jade stared at Nemu, her mouth open and her eyes filling with tears. "I have not checked this item out of logging but it does seem that with all the security problems, something's have gone missing and the computer has not logged them as missing. In order to keep tidy and accurate records I suppose I must get to work on editing those logs." She went to sit back at her desk and as she passed Jade she slipped the old book into her hands. Nemu said nothing more as she sat down and began typing away at the computer editing the logs.

* * *

Jade sat on the porch of her house staring at the book in her hands, she had yet to open it and wasn't even sure of what she would find inside. She wanted to know her mother she wanted to more than anything, but she was also sure that within these pages she would know her father as well, and that scared her more than anything.

She sighed once and opened the book, she had to know, she wanted to know, come hell or heaven she needed answers. As she read she was drawn into the story of her mother, she imagined her mother standing there telling her the story as she read. It was like she was sitting with her mother asking her the most intimate questions and finally getting the answers.

"Where did you meet my father?" Jade asked.

"He saved my life, before I knew what spirit energy was I just wandered around the Rukongai districts, finally one day I collapsed from hunger and he found me. He fed me and told me about spirit energy and that I must have had a lot of it. We lived together for a long time after that until he finally left me…I didn't see him again until the academy." Rangiku told her story, her eyes bright and shining as she watched her daughter who was twelve now and almost a woman, she smiled at the job that her two best friends had done in raising her.

"What was he like?"

"Gin was…Gin was unexplainable, he was kind but in a strange way. He loved to tease, it was one of his most favorite pastimes, and he always cared for my safety. He loved me dearly and I knew that, but Gin…..Gin wasn't ever given what he wanted there was always a part of him that was empty, and Aizen saw that and he took advantage of that and turned your father into something he shouldn't have been," Rangiku said her eyes distant and far away.

"What happened why you disappeared?" asked Jade.

"I went to find him," Rangiku said. "Aizen had fallen and Gin had disappeared into Hueco Mundo, I followed him thinking that I could somehow change him bring him back to answer for his crimes, I hoped that Central 46 would give him leniency and perhaps only imprison him for the rest of his life. If anything I wanted answers from him," Rangiku flipped her hair over her shoulder and leaned back on her hands.

"I found him there and tried to get answers from him, knowing that it was hopeless I didn't expect much and I didn't get much. But Gin knew what I wanted and he told me what I wanted to know….I pitied him he had been used and he hadn't even realized it. I gave him my sympathy and my body…I assume that your Uncles have told you about the birds and the bees correct?"

"No Yachiru mentioned it too me and when I asked them about it they sent me to Yoruichi and she told me," said Jade.

"Well those two really wouldn't know all that much about the female anatomy anyways," Rangiku said.

"What do you mean mother?" Jade asked her eyes open and ready.

Rangiku looked at her and laughed slightly, "Never mind you'll know when your older. Anyways he finally left me again, like he always did, went off wandering in the sand. So I came back here and found out that I had you within me."

"That must have hurt," Jade said.

Rangiku shook her head, "No I was used to it, Gin never stayed in once place all that long."

"Didn't it break your heart?"

"It did for a while, but then I met you…" she reached out and brushed Jade's bangs away from her face. "You look just like him you know."

"I'm sorry everyone tells me that I look like him," she said.

"Don't be, you're the part of Gin that survived, the good part that I feel in love with, you represent that he does have a heart despite what many say."

"They never speak to me about him" said Jade.

"I don't expect that they would, he was the cause of so much heartache here and I made them all promise never to speak bad of him in front of you," Rangiku said.

"Mother did you love me?"

"More than any breath in my body kiddo," she said.

"What happened that day? I don't remember anything…"Jade said.

"Sorry kiddo but you're going to have to go ask feather head, I don't have any more answers." Jade blinked and Rangiku was gone. She looked down at the page, the last entry was a day before her mother's death. She had written about a younger Jade and how she had followed Capitan Hitsugaya around with a white and black ball, that he had from the human world, kicking it at his feet and telling him to 'Send back'.

"Jade? I've been calling you for the last ten minutes, if you don't hurry up Ikkau is going to eat your food," said Yumichika from behind her. When she didn't move he bent forward and saw she was holding the book in her hands. There were several water marks on the paper and Yumichika realized that Jade was cry. "Jade what's wrong?"

"It's her diary, Nemu gave it to me…." Jade said through her tears. "She was…she was a wonderful woman."

Yumichika took the book from her and set it down next to him, then he took her into his arms and smoothed her hair over her back. "She was, and she loved you very much," he whispered to her over and over again. Trying to soothe the emptiness in her heart.

* * *

"She gave that to her?" Ikkaku said the bottle of Sake almost to his lips. Around his head was tied a bandanna and he had a white yukata on, his face was red from the Sake and he was slurring his words. Ikkaku stared down at the mahjongg set trying to think of his next move, after a long pause he dramatically slammed down his piece and looked at Yumichika triumphantly.

"She went into the achieves and took it from the personal belongings that were gathered when they removed her things from the barracks," said Yumichika. Yumichika moved once and fluidly with grace, he had Ikkaku in a corner. "She said that the last entry is right before Ran's death, the day before actually."

"So her next questions are going to be what happened after She stopped writing," Ikkaku said before taking another drink.

"If she asks me Ikkaku I am going to tell her the story," Yumichika said.

"Why she doesn't need to know that, she's still young. I'm with Nanao though why is she suddenly having this interest."

"Because cue ball she's twelve turning thirteen, she's becoming a woman and this is the time a girl wants her mother more than any other time during her life," said a high pitched voice from the open sliding door next to them. Yachiru sat leaned up against the door looking at the yard.

"What are you doing here so late Vice Capitan?" asked Yumichika. He glared at Ikkaku who was slowly reaching for his zanpakuto thinking of getting back at Yachiru for the cue ball comment.

"I was out with Shiro-chan and thought I would stop by. She came to see me the other day too, asking all these questions about bobbies, and I couldn't tell her all that much," Yachiru said. "But I was worried I know what it's like to wonder about your parents and not have the answers," she said.

"The Capitan should lock you in your room, keep you away from that 'Shiro-chan'" said Ikkaku imitating her high pitched voice when talking about Hitsugaya.

"Just because your love life has run dry doesn't meant that everyone else's has!" said Yachiru with a smile. "Besides I'm sure if you asked feathers real nice he might play Greco roman wrestling with you again!"

"Why you little…"

"Enough both of you, Ikkaku you did start it, Lieutenant what do you supposed we should do about Jade?" Yumichika asked.

"Let her talk to Shiro-chan, he knows more about it than anyone else," said Yachiru.

"He would be able to answer most of her questions about that day," Yumichika said.

"And I'm sure 'Shiro-chan' would just love to answer a ton of questions that cause him guilt to this day," said Ikkaku.

"He won't like it but he'll do it, he promised Ran-chan if Jade ever asked he would tell her the truth," Yachiru said.

"Then tell Capitan Histugaya that tomorrow we will send Jade to see him with Ragiku's journal," said Yumichika.

Yachiru hopped up and smiled, "Kay and Yum-yum you shouldn't hold out so much on Cue ball he gets awful grouchy and I'm sure it's him causing you to get premature crows feet" and with that she was gone with a giggle and a laugh.

Yumichika and Ikkaku sat in silence for a few more moments and then Ikkaku said, "You know it's true." A few moments later Ikkaku was pulling the mahjongg board back over his head and sighing at the large hole that was now in the middle of the small board.

* * *

Jade sat in the front of the Tenth Division Capitan, neither said a word, and neither really looked at each other. A few glances here and there but it wasn't until the Hitsugaya spoke that they finally really looked at each other.

"Lieutenant Kusajashi has said that you wish to ask me some questions about your mother?" he said. Jade looked up at him and stared at his face. From the pictures she had seen of him ten years ago he hadn't changed much. Still had a stone business like face, snow white hair that stuck out at all angles, bright eyes, but she could also see the difference ten years had made on him as well. He was taller almost as tall as Ikkaku now, and he was stronger, no longer the body of a young boy but of a young Capitan in his prime, but the one difference the was most notable-even more than his heights- was the thin scar that cut across his face. It started low near his left ear and in a almost perfect angled line cut just below his right eye over to the top of his other ear.

Jade stared at his scar, she knew where he had gotten in from, in the fight to save her life, but that was the only detail she knew about it. "Yes…I've been asking others and I've learned a lot but Yachi…Lieutenant Kusajashi said that I should talk to you if I wanted to know what happened on the day my mother died."

Hitsugaya stared at her, never blinking once, he folded his hands and leaned his chin on top of them. "Jade I wanted to wait to tell you this story for when you were older……" he said.

Jade opened her mouth to protest, she couldn't wait till she was older she wanted to know what had happened now, now that it was soon to be the anniversary of her mother's death. However Hitsugaya's words stopped her.

"However I made promise to your mother that I the day you came and asked me these questions I would answer them honestly," he said. He stood up and walked over to the window in at the far end of his desk; he stared out of it and was silent for several minutes and then began his tale.

"When we realized that it was Gin who had taken you your mother was frantic, internally, externally she was all business, but I had been her Capitan long enough to know what she was feeling. She was scared, probably more scared then she had ever been in her whole life. We appealed to Central 46 for permission to enter the Hollow domain and look for you, but we were denied. Central 46 is a body of logical thinkers and those thinkers refused to allow us to put ourselves in danger for the sake of one small child, it didn't matter that you were the child of a prestigious Vice Capitan or the godchild of two prominent Captains, they refused our appeal and told us to forget the matter and begin the mourning process.

But your mother, being your mother, would have none of that. She stood in this very office and looked me in the eye and said 'I know that what I am about to do is going to go against the very body that I serve and I fully accept the consequences that will come with it….but Capitan she's my daughter, she's all I have in the world, I won't forget her.' How was I too refuse her, she was right, you were all she had left, hell Jade you were all many of us had. Your story was well known throughout the Seireitei, and many saw it as a story of hope, a story that said 'Even though there is great tragedy there is also some good left in the world.'" He turned and looked at her, "Your mother and I gathered a small team and against the Central 46's orders we entered the Hollows domain and searched Hueco Mundo. It took us three weeks but we finally caught up to Gin, you were with him, unharmed and from what we could see healthy.

I will never forget that sight, Gin sitting on Aizen's crumbling throne smiling as if he ruled the world, and you settled on his lap peacefully smiling as if you weren't in the clutches of a monster. It chilled me to the bone, my blood ran cold, but all I could see was fire. I wanted to kill Gin more than anything else in that moment, more than I had wanted to kill him when he attacked Momo. But your mother kept me from doing it, she knew that you were your father's hostage and she knew that as long as you were there you were in danger. She demanded that he give you back to her unharmed so that you could return home without anyone getting hurt.

He taunted her saying 'But we have become so close Rangiku we've been catching up on the time that we have missed,' and he just sat there with his grin, full of sadistic malice and danger, he knew what he was doing and he knew it was killing your mother but he didn't care. Rangiku knew that you were in more danger than you ever would be again. She begged for you to be returned to her but all he said was, 'Oh my dear Ran-chan I have plans for our little one here, sorry but I have no intention of giving her back'

It was Yumichika that attacked first, his aim was perfect and it was the first time that he showed his true power behind his sword. It distracted Gin enough, he let you go to deal with Yumichika and Ikkaku, unfortunately it didn't last long, our plan had been the myself and the others would distract him so that you and Rangiku could escape you two were is targets not us. However there was a reason why Gin was Aizen's prodigy, he was just as terrifying and just as strong, he disposed of the lower seats quickly enough and soon all that was left of our group of ten was myself, Hisagi, Nanao, and Ikkaku. But even all of us together didn't last long and soon it was just myself and Gin. He made the first move and it is only by fate that I escaped that blow with my life."

Jade knew about this part, her father had tried to slice the Capitan's head off and he had just narrowly missed the blow. But the cut had made its mark and had frazzled his senses enough to make several over disarming blows. Jade knew that underneath his shihakusho there were other scars that littered his body, one large one that went from his upper left arm all the way down to the right side of his body. Then there were other also several other scars where Gin had tortured Histsugaya.

"He was attempting to lure Rangiku back….which worked, she returned but without you, she had hidden you and used a light sedative to put you to sleep, she didn't want you to remember anything that happened after that." He paused once again reflection and replying the incident in his mind. "She fought with a power I had never know her to possess, but then I guess its true what they say, 'when those you love are in danger you're at your strongest.' Your mother defeated but it was at the sacrifice of her own life, Gin had pierced her heart with her own blade, and though she knew it was going to be the death of her she ordered Hinako to roar, the blades ripped into both of their bodies. The internal injuries were so severe that neither of them could survive.

As soon as they were separated the ordered Hinako to finish the job, and she did, had we not seen it ourselves we wouldn't have recognized Gin's body. Rangiku told us where you were and we found you, she held you once more before she died, and then she made Ikkaku and Yumichika promise to raise you and she made me promise that when you came here and asked my about this story I would tell you." He turned away from the window and stared at her once again, "Your mother saved your life, my own, and the lives of several others, she was a hero to the Soul Society and one of the best people I have ever known."

"But she fell in love with a monster" said Jade.

Hitsugaya nodded and sat down in his chair across from her, "Yes that is true but maybe your mother fell in love with the man she saw inside of Gin, maybe she saw the good inside of him and fell in love with that." Jade looked at him confused, "There is good and bad inside of all of us Jade, no matter how you look at it there is no one who is completely evil or completely good, everyone has their own reasons for doing what they are doing and though sometimes those reason may be obscure there is always a reason behind every action."

"Then what reason did my father have for kidnapping me?" asked Jade anger in her voice, she hated gin Ichimaru with all her heart, had it not been for him she would have never lost her mother. She never would have cried to many tears of despair or woken up scared and alone with no warmth to comfort her.

"The reasons are Gin's his own, but think of it like this Jade, from Gin's point of view he was trying to reconnect with his daughter, whom he had been denied from birth, though he went about it the wrong way and did not think of the consequences that would befall everyone and everything, is that idea so wrong?"

Jade stared into Hitsugaya's eyes and saw nothing but honesty and truth. "Capitan Hitsugaya don't you hate him?"

He sighed once and then whispered, "Yes, I hate him with every fiber of my being, but at the same time….I pity him."

"I don't understand sir," said Jade.

"Look in the mirror Jade, look at all those around you who love and care for you, and think about your mother, your mother who loved you so much that she would sacrifice her own life so that you could have fulfilling and happy existence…"

"But I'm not happy!"

"Not happy? You mean to tell me that you have never felt any happiness in your life?"

"I...I…."

"Your mother's death may really have been in vain then, if you have never experienced any happiness."

Jade stared down at her feet and then looked up at him, "You have known happiness Jade, much happiness, every time you race through the Seireitei with Yachiru, all the times Ikkaku taught you how to fight, Nanao's lessons in Kido, the Capitan's telling you old war stories and stories about the tomes of peace, Kenpachi's games of tag, Mayuri's failed attempts at genius, all the memories and tales of your mothers adventures, your trips to the human world to see the Kurosaki children and the Quincys. You have known happiness Jade."

"But there's a hole in my heart! A hole that cannot be filled, a hole that I can't make go away even with all the happiness's!" she yelled tears falling down her face.

"Yes and your father had that same hole, the only difference between the two of you is whether or not you allow that hole consume you, or if you always remember it and grow from it," Hitsugaya said. "That's why I pity Gin, he never knew anything of the love and happiness that you have, you has never seen the good that life could have given him, or the woman who loved him."

Jade let the tears flow freely down her face and began to sob, "Does it ever go away? That emptiness, do you ever lose it?"

Hitsugaya smiled sadly and then shook his head, "No but it's part of tells us that we are alive and part of what gives life meaning."

"I miss her, I missed knowing her and I miss that."

Hitsugaya smiled, "You know her Jade, everything that she has left behind is inside of you, all her hopes and dreams, all her love and determination resides inside of you."

Jade stood, "Thank you Capitan." She bowed to him and then turned and left the room.

Toshiro waited a few moments and then reached into the bottom draw of his desk and pulled out a thin dusty box, he opened it and stared down its contents and sighed.

"Shiro-chan is that Ran's?" asked a melodious voice from the open window. He looked over, Yachiru was sitting not facing him, her long pink hair cascading down her back, her hands balancing her position on the window sill.

"I was going to give it to Jade when she graduated from the Academy, but….."

"I think she would like it for her Birthday Shiro-chan, it would be nice."

"She turns thirteen tomorrow, she grew up so fast," he said.

"She thinks that she looks like him," said Yachiru. "But I think she looks like Ran-chan more, her spirit is like Ran's it radiates love and happiness."

"She isn't anything like Ichimaru," Toshiro said.

"No I don't think so either."

* * *

Jade sat on her bed, her mother's journal in her hands. She had her answers, she knew who her mother was. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there when there was a knock on the door. It was well past midnight and she knew that she would probably get scolded at by Yumi but she didn't care.

"Come in," she said.

The door opened, Yumichika stood at the doorway his purple kimono made him look regal. "I almost didn't think that you would be awake."

Jade looked down at the book in her hands, "I've read it twice since I spoke with Capitan Histugaya, he's right I do know her."

Yumichika smiled he sat down next to her, from the insides of his kimono he pulled out the long thin box that Yachiru had delivered to them earlier. "He sent this over, said that it was from your mother."

Jade's eyes widened, she touched the box lightly and then carefully pulled off the top. She stared at the silk scarf that had adorned her mother's neck for so long. Jade smiled and picked it up, she pressed the material to her face and inhaled knowing that it was her mother's scent. There was a faint smell of perfume, the kind Yumi had told her Rangiku had worn, Jade knew its smell because two years ago after her birthday she had snuck into Rukongai with Sakura Kurosaki and bought it from a vendor.

"It smells like her," whispered Jade.

Yumi smoothed her long silver hair, it was shining softly in the moonlight. Yumi had always told Ikkaku it made her look like a goddess, beautiful blue eyes, soft silver hair, pale skin. Though he would never admit it to anyone he was secretly jealous of his nieces beauty, she was unlike anyone else in the Soul Society.

"We have something to give to you as well," said Ikkaku from the shadowy doorway. He entered the room with a small box in his hand. Yumichika recognized it instantly. "Nemu took it from achieves after they removed it for her burial," he said. "We were going to wait to give it to you but when Yachiru told us that Hitsugaya was giving you this we decided now would be a good time."

He handed Jade the box and then sat down next to her. She opened it slowly and gasped, the beautiful silver chain that her mother had worn lay before her but it had an attachment. Settled on the end of the chain that slipped through the large circle was a small silver triangle with a tiny hole in the middle.

Jade placed it around her neck and held the scarf in front of her, "I am not her, but I am her." Jade smiled and then tied the scarf around her tiny waist. "Thank you," she whispered, she hugged them both and then was left alone. She looked outside of her window and watched the fireflies and the moon, she smiled then and then lay down. She touched the chain around her neck and then smiled, "I guess I'm just not a fan of sad stories," she whispered before falling asleep.


End file.
